Simon Mayo's Confessions
Give it away, give it away, give it away now & other tales
What do a budgie's flight for freedom, a stuffed cornet, shouts of 'Wally' and some hot hot sauce have in common? They're all tangled up in this week's mischievous confessions! This week's episode features Chad's chilli confession, where a childhood love of spicy food let to an unfortunate A E trip for an unsuspecting classmate. Then there's Andy's sad budgie tale, featuring a high-stakes race between man and bird - Andy won and the budgie had a less than happy ending. Meanwhile David's campsite chaos saw an innocent game of shouting "Wally" spiral into a full sale eviction of his Baptist camp neighbours and over in Class 3, Nick took extreme measures against an irritating cornet player, leading to the unforgettable phrase: "Jammed a cushion up his cornet" In the Not For Broadcast Section we hit peak disgrace with a Vomit Comet. Plus, we discuss the secrets to becoming the best podcast in the world an why every household should keep an emergency supply of full fat milk. Buckle up - It's going to be a good one. Have your own confession? - email it to confession@greatesthits.co.uk
4 abr 2025 - 47 min 11 sek
All together now & other tales
The stage is set and the confessions spotlight is on, and this week's tales are funnier and more outrageous than ever. Get ready for exam rallying, sister pranks, sickly scouts and bets as a new generation of sinners seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week features Andy who ended up collaborating with 140 other students during an exam, Drucilla who told her sister she would be dead by 6pm, Joe and how his journey home from Scouts shocked two unexpecting victims and Lady Janes and her betting syndicate and illicit use of choir robes to hide contraband. Meanwhile the Not For Broadcast Section features some pee. There's also talk of liberal arts, Huey Lewis and the News and vomit noises. Be prepared for laughs, gasps and some very sickly sinners.
28 mar 2025 - 42 min 12 sek
Sisters are doin' it for themselves & other tales
From a sibling prank, to a boy racer tale, exam cheating and a Cluedo playing cad with some shocking behaviour, this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! The Not for Broadcast section involves a toothbrush and a tent. There's also talk of AI and combine harvesters. Plus is there a confession that Matt even finds hard to forgive? Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.
21 mar 2025 - 40 min 50 sek
You bring the body, and I'll bring the steam & other tales
It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From spooky supernatural activity to frogs through a letterbox - no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?
14 mar 2025 - 40 min 49 sek
Enter Sandman & other tales
It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From a pee puddle to fake sand, make shift ear plus and cross curriculum experiments —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?
7 mar 2025 - 41 min 31 sek
These boots are made for walking & other tales...
From a shoe swap, creative locksmithing, triplet trickery and a spooky prank with some angel statues this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! In the Not for Broadcast section, the team tackle house party cheating and airport toilet trouble. There's also a heated discussion about Walkmans with radios, away day forced fun and an apology on the people verdict. Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.
28 fev 2025 - 42 min 15 sek
Caught out there & other tales
It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From a revenge gift that oinks, a very dodgy drink, a family airport lockdown and a love story with slightly crossed wires —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?
21 fev 2025 - 42 min 33 sek
Old man rhythm is in my shoes & other tales
It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From on board cruise entertainment scuppered by an ice cube, a broken bingo machine, a school trip to Russia and very childish drawing on a reproductive medicine book —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?
14 fev 2025 - 44 min 58 sek
Who should I say is calling & other tales
From crucifix calamities to creepy dolls, this week's confessions bring plenty of mischief, misunderstandings, and outright mayhem. Aled shares a tale of the time he accidentally trapped a TV producer in the door of an old bus - thanks to the enormous one-foot crucifix around the poor man's neck in Do-wah diddy, diddy dum, diddy uuurrrghh! Then there's Derek the Trucker with his tale - Mercy Sakes Alive, who wanted a quiet drink but ended up redirecting overly chatty Beryl to another trucker... leading to an unfortunate mix-up for poor Barry. Meanwhile Frank is seeking forgiveness in Eyes without a face after his con plays a terrifying prank on his little sister using an unsettling doll gifted by mad Cousin Pat. And finally Filofax Girl had enough of stray footballs invading her garden (and even her house) so she took drastic action in Who should I say is calling? In the Not for Broadcast section, things take a truly nauseating turn with a particularly sickening story. Elsewhere on the pod the team discusses smocks, ponchos and the groundbreakingly idea of a smoncho. here's also chat about the origins of 'the chuckle', listening to podcast at school and how Matt's neighbours didn't pack any manners. Prepare for laughter, gasps and maybe even a shudder or two.
7 fev 2025 - 41 min 47 sek
It ain’t easy being green & other tales
From dodgy baking to disastrous DIY wine, this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions. Loves Hot Fevered Iron shares a confession from a real reverend who politely accepted a weekly homemade cake from a well-meaning parishioner only to secretly bin them every time. Then there's Dave from Grimsby with a Horse with No Name, who sent his dad to the farm shop on a mission for his sister's horse, Hoof Hearted a name that's far more embarrassing when said out loud. Meanwhile, Professor Perilous finally comes clean about a shocking day in his teaching career with Sonic Boom Boy, when a student in his DT class sanded off the top of her finger. And in the truly stomach-churning It Ain't Easy Being Green, Tom recalls his time at an eco-commune, where homemade wine and a compost toilet got horribly, horrifyingly mixed up. In the Not for Broadcast section, the team tackles revenge with a toothbrush, the sheer indignity of being sick into a coat pocket. There's also a heated discussion about punctuation, the mystery of 'market leaves' and a reprise of the Ukrainian drunk geese, which leaves Matt thoroughly baffled. Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.
31 jan 2025 - 39 min 53 sek